The Guillotines
BCR was kidnapped this week by The Guillotines. A rag tag band of ne’er do wells whose indulgence in the finer things in life like Guinness, Red Wine and Whiskey makes for a tight knit and raucous cacophony of personalities that are infectious… Especially to this BCR journo who likes the same things. As the night progressed I was rapt to attention by the Ukrainian-style beat poetry from Joe Coles, the thumping up-chucking of Trimble and the pitter-batter of a band who have been together for some time, a band with the absurdist banter of good drinking buddies.
The Guillotines will be playing the first Big City Redneck Presents night on February 21st and are currently working on a new single. Join me as they draw me into a world unlike our own, a world of giant gold cocks, troubled troubadours, multi faith unity and psychedelic toddler jams.
BCR: There are a lot of you – are you all going to fit in the Buffalo Bar?
Trimble: Yeah, we’ll be alright, we’ll stand on people…
Heidi Heelz: Well, because there’s so many of us we tend to go into the crowd and Jack [Cooper] always ends up playing between people’s legs.
T: Did we play with the Screaming Tea Party and Victorian English Gentleman’s Club there?
HH: Yeah, but Joe broke their bunting…
BCR: You seem to be a bit ferocious on stage, Joe – didn’t you break three of The Woodsmen’s mics once?
T: They’re a bunch of dicks so it doesn’t matter.
Jack Cooper: You gotta be careful what you say here….
Willin’ Dylan: No, they’re lovely guys.
T: I used to be in The Woodsmen. I relinquished my position.
WD: Have you seen us live?
BCR: I’ve seen all your youtube clips, very telling, and a bit of you at the Dirty Water.
T: I liked that gig, the Grande Cobra’s were great, they gave me loads of whiskey.
HH: They were really good but we’d been drinking ‘round at my house all afternoon. The Dirty Water sound guy is the best sound guy in the whole world.
The Guillotines: Heidi Heelz, Trimble, Willin Dylan and Joe Coles
Special Ed: He actually wants to be a sound man.
HH: He’d spend about a half hour tuning our drums, just checking everything.
SE: We bought exactly the same drum kit as well, which is a 1974 premiere. It’s the only time I was able to be a drum numpty. The only time I was able to show off.
BCR: So what has been your favourite gig so far? ‘cos you’ve been gigging for around four years…
HH: Latitude festival. We were on at midnight on the Sunday, at close off and that was just… Performance wise and having fun wise then it’s Glastonbury. I love being on a massive stage and going out there drunk!
JackC: Also the secret gig at Latitude was good.
HH: that was… funny. We did this secret gig with Kate Nash.
WD: Apparently she was famous. I’d never heard of her. She was like I’m Kate and I just…
HH: This fellah said come and play this secret gig and we got there and it was like, that’s that girl we’ve been taking the piss out of all weekend…
WD: I was singing backing vocals on one of her songs and I just had no idea.
BCR: Will you ever live it down?
T: He sounded like a drunk Roy Orbison. It was great.
HH: They fed us lots of Cava and Gin…
JackC: And gave us instruments that didn’t work
HH: Ed had this drumkit, the kick drum was about this high [indicates extremely low height], it was a child’s drumkit. He was sitting on the grass playing.
WD: And what were all those weird instruments they had me playing? Bits of percussion with wires and bits on the ends.
SE: That was er… whatchumacallit… a Hungarian Ensemble…
HH: They were trying to move us in a new direction…
BCR: So, Joe, for you, how do you see the live performances? Because you’ve got women slapping you around the face and you’ve got your hands down your pants… It seems like you’re having quite a nice time…
The Guillotines: Live
Joe Coles: Yes. It’s very nice. I do what I want to do and it’s nice to be able to get away with that.
HH: My mum turned up one night, she was in the front row and Joe just stared at her grinning, rubbing his cock.
JC: I like your mum.
HH: My mum doesn’t like you. I think my mum’s terrified of everyone really…
BCR: You, Heidi, seem to do shit loads of stuff…
T: I haven’t fucking said anything yet!
BCR: Right, Trimble. Speak to the stick.
T: ...
HH: That’s a nice tie clasp…
T: Yeah, It’s smashing. I got that in OZ.
JC: Did the homoerotic prisoners give it to you?
BCR: I did a search on Trimble and I just kept getting Lord David Trimble…
T: Yeah… That’s not me. That’s the right wing conservative that hales from Ireland.
WD: That’s not you?
JC: Sounds just like you
T: Alright. I’ll tell you straight. The difference being he has a title…. But, no he’s no relation, no relation…
BCR: Are you sure? Are there any relations hidden away that we should know about?
HH: My Great Uncle invented the rechargeable battery. Ever Ready bought the patent off him and buried it for 20 years.
JC: My uncle invented the paper Femidom in WWII.
BCR: How useful was the paper Femidom, ‘cos you don’t hear much about it now.
